FISH and TALES
Home of “The Hoover Fishing Report”
This site owned and operated by Jim Horan and is copyrighted. Copyright © 2021 All Rights reserved.
(Jim Horan 11/00) Copyright (c) All Rights Reserved.
I'd guess it'd depend on your point of view as to whether this plan was brilliant or total capitulation. Whether it was a passive moment or just a brain fart. A kinder determination might be to label it a "Senior Moment". Whatever it was, it was.
For years Dottie and I have given more than a little thought as to how we could salvage a decent Thanksgiving dinner as well as our mental health. Of course our physical health was also factored into a part of the equation. We don't want to recap what has gone past but those wishing to read the other Thanksgiving offerings can accomplish that by clicking "TALES". We lived it so we don't need to read about it. There still is pain. The conclusion of course is that we almost always have been thwarted in achieving our goal by those insidious damn CATS!
This year our lives have been disabled for the entire year. Sleep deprivation is serious and we have been deprived. OK, so HE had a little hardship. HE had to have a rear wheel removed. It seemed that maybe this would be the equalizer in bringing peace in our time. While running was still one of HIS options, the act of jumping had been taken from HIM. That included chairs, sofa and beds. Not a problem for us, as we considered the meaning of what this brought to our lives. For instance, though we have a King-
Why or how that all changed is beyond our comprehension. I mean how HE figured it out really speaks to the evil that dwells within HIM. It happened one night as we slept, there occurred a terrific CRASH! It was my suggestion that Dottie get up and investigate it and I would share in the labor by keeping the bed warm. After a revote on that idea, I discerned the sound came from the bathroom off of our bedroom. Turning on the lights I gazed at an over-
It should be explained that after HIS surgery, when HE was weighed, it was at 2 pounds less than pre-
As past readers will know, we have never been successful in "out cleavering" HIM. No matter what we came up with and to what extremes we went to, it was all in vain. This year we came up with the original thought of, "Why fight THEM? Just give in." It seemed the simple and most obvious answer.
Dottie would prepare the "bird" and place it on a platter to present to them. We would then retire to the garage where we had a small fire burning, though we had no fireplace there, and toast a marshmallow and dream of what could have been. We informed the neighbors, our friends at the Emergency Room, and the local Fire department that there would be no need for their concern this year. We were going to capitulate. It seemed no other alternative was acceptable, as we were just too tired to out-
Thanksgiving morning came. After having gotten up 4-
As the morning passed and the house filled with the wonderful aroma of THEIR feast, a remembrance came to me. Remember when you were a kid and you were playing sandlot football? And that one time you got to be QB and call the plays? And you called for a handoff? But as the ball came to you, you decided to improvise as you thought you saw a hole where you could run through and you ran for a Touchdown? What a great feeling...right?
I became "inspired" with a vision of us actually eating the bird, as Dottie handed me the platter with the finished product to place before their gapping "cake-
It seems that while our neighbors, EMS and Fire Department had wanted to believe that all would be well, they couldn't conceive of how it ever could be with HIM. They were on hand and in pretty quick order saved almost half the garage before the flames over took it all. As the EMS was carting us off, I had another remembrance from my sandlot days. I recalled the time, I "improvised" at the last instance and got crushed by some really big guys and fumbled the ball and felt really lousy! Yeah, I remember that and will again and again this year. At least at the ER we can get a full nights sleep.
Next year, we may just call THEM a cab, give THEM a credit card and let THEM go to a restaurant of THEIR choice.
The best Thanksgiving to you and yours.